Let Go
by Peachy Papayas
Summary: When Remus Lupin first awakens on Nov. 1st, he receives news that shatters his world. Unsure of what to do, he turns to others for answers. Unable to find them, Remus turns to his only other option...
1. Bad News Comes Knocking At Your Door

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters of the books. They were created by and belong to J.K. Rowling.

It was a brisk, October morning, late in the afternoon. All was well in the world, all was peaceful, all was right.

And yet, something was _not _right. One man shot straight up in his bed, sweating profusely, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. Something was wrong.__

When Remus Lupin first awoke, he felt decidedly odd. He rolled out of bed, his ears pricked. Yes… something was wrong.

Remus went to straight to his Muggle telephone – he still didn't know why he had it, but Lily insisted that they all get one – and dialed Lily and James's number.

They didn't pick up.

Remus frowned. "That's not like Lily," he remarked. "It's not even like James." He allowed the phone to ring several more times, before slamming the phone down – as he had often heard Muggles do when they're frustrated.

He stared at the phone several moments, and then angrily reached for his cloak, not understand his anger. And just as he readied himself to apparate, a knock came on his door to his flat. He turned.

The knocking grew louder and faster, more desperate. Crossing the room quickly, he yanked the door open, and a man that he had long-hated glared at him. "Finally decided to answer, Lupin?" Snape snapped.

Remus regarded him coldly, thinly veiling his curiosity. "What are you doing here, Sna- Severus?"

"Perhaps," Snape whispered delicately, his voice harsh, "you ought to read the _Morning Prophet _for yourself and see." He stuffed it in Remus's hands.

Remus glanced at it, and a heard a roaring in his ears as his stomach dropped to the lowest point it had ever been. His eyes scanned the front-page headlines hurriedly, his mind scarcely comprehending and believing.

Dark Lord Vanquished – Young Harry Potter Saves the Word from You-Know-Who But at a Terrible Price 

_Late last night, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was discovered to have gone to Lily and James Potter's house in Godric's Hollow, apparently to kill the Potters and their young son, Harry. Fortunately, it seemed that You-Know-Who would meet his demise there, at the hands of the one-year-old son of the Potters. But only at a horrible cost._

_Trained Medi-Wizards, Hit Wizards, and Ministry Experts from the Department of Magical Catastrophes arrived at the scene of their house at Godric's Hollow. The house was still handing, although the door had been blasted off its hinges._

_The first thing the Ministry wizards and witches found was the dead body of James Potter, although they could not recover his glasses…_

Remus could not read anymore. His eyes blurred, and he glanced up to see Snape watching him without emotion. "Don't you feel _anything?" _he demanded desperately. "Aren't you _sad _at all for their deaths?"

Snape looked at him without pity, and shrugged. "I never liked Potter much," he finally admitted.

Remus wanted to choke him, strangle him, hurt him, do _something _to him. But he just stood there in disbelief, and finally shouted, "He saved your _bloody _life! And you never gave him reason to, but he did it anyway!"

"Perhaps you never heard what he said afterwards," Snape said coldly. "He called me a bastard, and then told me that I was not worth saving. And then he added that the only reason he had done it was to impress Lily, but it didn't seem to have worked, and anyway, he would have done it for anyone. Therefore, I never liked him."

"First of all, you _are _a bastard. And second, James would never mean something like that!"

"Perhaps you only say that because he has never spoken to you that way," Snape said, and sneered at him. "I am not here to offer my condolences or my sympathies, werewolf. I am here because… well, I suggest you first read the other headline article." He pointed at it, leering without any real emotion at all – as if he couldn't force himself to take pleasure in Remus's pain.

Remus looked at it, and again his stomach dropped.

Secret-Keeper Sirius Black Cornered in a Muggle Street – Kills Thirteen People, Including One-Time Friend, Peter Pettigrew

Remus didn't even read anymore. Sirius… no… there was no possible _way _that Sirius had done that…

And Peter… _dead…_

"There must be some mistake," he said faintly.

"I assure you," Snape said coolly. "It's no mistake." He scowled. "I am not going to sit and watch you snivel like this, Lupin. Either come with me, or don't."

"Come… where?"

Snape looked irritated. "To the Headmaster's office, you fool!"

Feeling left with no other choice, Remus wordlessly followed Snape. Once they were out in the corridor and Remus had locked his flat, they apparated to as a close a spot as they could get to Hogwarts.

X-X-X-X-X

"I am sorry, Remus," Dumbledore said, his voice heavy with sorrow as he gazed at the young man before him. "It is hard for all of us to accept, I understand."

For Remus had his face in his hands. He wasn't crying – no, he was rather in mute shock and horror. Seeing it in the Daily Prophet and hearing it from Snape wasn't enough. But once he heard it from Dumbledore, it made it absolute, final.

Lily and James Potter were dead.

Peter Pettigrew was dead.

  
Sirius Black was a convicted murderer, and in Azkaban.

And Harry… Harry was famous, now. Barely a year old, and famous.

It gave Remus a surreal feeling. It couldn't be happening… no, it was all so sudden…

"Remus?" the Headmaster asked gently. "Perhaps it's best if you go home, now. You look like you need some rest. And I know the Full Moon is coming up soon, is it not? Less than two weeks, I believe."

Remus didn't reply. Instead, he stared at his old Headmaster for long moments, and finally burst out, "Can I see him?"

"See who?"

"Sirius. Can I see him?"

Dumbledore shifted. "It may not be wise, Remus. You may not want to…"

Remus cut him short. "I want to."

"Well, then I cannot stop you. I will inform the Authorities at Azkaban that you will be arriving shortly. Would you like me to escort you off the grounds?"

"No," Remus said curtly. He knew he was being rude, but that was not his main focus just then. "Thank you, Headmaster," he added, just for politeness' sake. He nodded, and left the office.

X-X-X-X-X

A/N: Well, that's it! Please Review, and tell me what you think, and if I should continue. Luv ya! ~Peaches


	2. Friendship Turned Cold

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters of the books. They belong to J.K. Rowling.

As Remus began his descent down the staircase, he saw Snape leaning against the wall, half-hidden in the shadows. "What are you doing here, skulking around?" Remus snapped scathingly.

Snape straightened. "I _teach _here, Lupin. I am the Potions Master as of this year."

"Good for you, you greasy git," Remus sniped. "Congratulations. Now, instead of tormenting _us, _you can spend your time destroying whatever moral there is to poor innocent children who've done nothing at all. And I hope you enjoy yourself with that."

"I will," Snape said, without missing a beat, and then added, "Not that there's many left of you to torment, is there? Just you."

"Sod off, Snape," Remus snapped.

"I think not. _I _teach here. _You _do not."

Remus rounded on him. "Dumbledore may trust you," he hissed, "But _I _don't. I'm not stupid, you know."

"You are doing a fairly good impression of it, then." Remus felt like an angry child about to throw a tantrum. Instead, he threw Snape a look of deepest loathing and proceeded to hurl himself down the stairwell.

At least, until Snape's voice called him back. "Is going to see Black at Azkaban wise?"

"Is there an echo for Dumbledore around here?" Remus asked in irritation, turning to scowl up at him. "Besides, that was a _private _conversation. You weren't supposed to be eavesdropping."

"Pretend I _care, _Lupin. I do what I want."

"Stupid, obnoxious git."

"I could call you many worse things, but fortunately, I'm far too refined to do so."

"Aren't refined people suppose to wash their _hair _occasionally?"

They scowled at one another with darkness. "It is not wise to go to Azkaban, Lupin," Snape snapped abruptly, "because, for one thing, you are a werewolf, and therefore a Dark Magical Creature. The Dementors won't welcome you. And you may not like seeing Black. He was your friend once, but you may not be able to keep yourself from attacking him after knowing he has killed three of your other friends."

"I'm touched by your concern," Remus said flatly. "But I frankly don't care much for it at all. I'm going to see Sirius, and you can't stop me. And besides, I won't attack him. And even if I do, that's what bars are for."

Snape shrugged. "This is the last time I ever offer you my help again, Lupin."

Remus scowled at him. "Good. Go back to torturing little Gryffindors and brewing your smelly potions, Snape."

Snape sneered arrogantly. "I do _not _torture Gryffindors." He smirked. "I torture Gryffindors _and _Hufflepuffs."

Remus rolled his eyes in disbelief – Snape was such a _prat _sometimes – and then stalked out of the staircase into the stairwell.

X-X-X-X-X

When Remus first set foot in Azkaban, he was immediately swamped with the cold. He shivered, looking around. There was no one within sight. All there was a simply counter, devoid of any sort of bell or implication that someone would be working there. On the stone was an embedded clipboard, with a slip of parchment attached, marked: VISTORS. A quill lay to the side.

Picking up the quill, he glanced at the parchment. The last visitor had been four years ago, and judging by the sign out time, they had only stayed for about six or seven minutes.

Signing in delicately, he checked his watch, and set the quill down. Ten minutes should be more than enough to see Sirius.

He walked down the halls, suppressing his shudders at the cold. He couldn't see the Dementors, but he could certainly feel their presence. Biting back a gulp of panic, he forced himself to walk down the hall.

He noticed that each cell was labeled with an ID number, and then the prisoner's name. Sirius's cell was at the very end, at the very darkest corner of Azkaban. The cells surrounding him were completely empty.

He peered into the cell. He could see the dark outline of Sirius leaning against the wall. His hair – which he had recently grown out quite a bit – fell over his face, covering it. One knee was drawn up to his chest, and the other was stretched out in front of him. His hands, chained together, hung limply in his lap.

Taking a deep breath, Remus spoke. "Padfoot?" he asked quietly. There was no response. "I… I just wanted to see you," he continued, feeling stupid – it wasn't as though Sirius could _hear _him, anyway. "Just to find out… why you did what he did." Remus thought he heard the faint clink of the chains, but he was certain he imagined it – not that he'd know. He was looking at his shoes, unable to look at his old friend anymore. "I can't believe you'd ever do this. I don't _want _to believe it."

Remus sighed in disgust. "I'm so _stupid. _It's not like you're listening. Hell, you're probably mad in there already."

There was a hoarse laugh. "I've only been in here _half a day, _Moony. I'm not quite mad yet."

Remus's head snapped up. Sirius was sitting closer to the bars now, gripping them as he stared out at Remus. His eyes, Remus recalled, had once been a very clear, blue color. Now they were darker, more haunted, more desperate. And yet… there was something else beneath all that. There was… _amusement?!_

"Aren't you sad at all?" Remus burst out. "You killed them, Sirius!"

Sirius jerked backwards from the bars. "I am sad," he whispered hoarsely. "I'm miserable, Moony."

"Of course you are," Remus said scathingly, feeling fury rising in him. _This is why Snape told you not to come, _he thought, and bit that thought down. "After all, your Master's gone, isn't he? Defeated by a one-year-old. Your godson. Only defeated, though, _after _he killed his parents. Lily and James, Sirius. Your best friends!" he burst out bitterly.

"I know who they are," Sirius whispered. "I would never have hurt them – believe me, Moony, I never would have."

"Don't call me that," Remus snapped. "I only let my friends call me 'Moony,' and from the looks of it, thanks to you, three of them are already gone. Four if you count yourself. Of course, you must have been gone for about a year before Lily and James were killed. And Peter."

"I didn't kill them!" Sirius said furiously, his whisper abandoned. "I – I couldn't do that! I would have _died _before I betrayed them, you know that! It was Peter, he was the Secret-Keeper-"

"Bloody hell, Sirius, you sound like a raving lunatic," Remus said coldly. "A _murdering, _raving lunatic. Peter, the Secret-Keeper? Give me one good reason to believe you."

Sirius scowled. "Dumbledore kept telling us there was a traitor in our midst. We… we believed it was you. And-"

"Enough," Remus snapped. "I don't want to hear _any _more of this. No more at all. This is stupidity. I shouldn't have come. I'm off."

"Remus!" Sirius cried. "I didn't kill them – Remus, don't go, please-"

He sounded so pitying, so pathetic, that Remus almost apologized. _Almost. _Instead, he whirled. "I saw it in your eyes, Sirius. _Amusement. _Admit it. You're not sorry they're dead. How could you be? You were working for Voldemort all along."

"I wasn't!" Sirius broke out desperately. "I – I could never do that! Remus, you have to believe me, it's the insanity getting to me, of the day, you heard I was laughing when they found me, but I wasn't happy, it was like this big, gaping hole inside of me-"

"You," Remus said tightly, "are a fool. Goodbye, Sirius Black." And he turned and walked, glancing back once only to see Sirius's hand fall lightly through the bars.

Once outside the Prison-fortress, Remus took calming breaths, feeling his anger being replaced by the terror of the place. He looked out at Azkaban again, shivered, and then fled the island.

X-X-X-X-X

A/N: Well, that's it for Chapter 2! Review, please! ~Peaches


	3. Only Way Out

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter of any of the characters of the books. They were created by and belong to J.K. Rowling.

Remus sat alone, in the dark, at his flat, feeling depressed. He was angry with himself for losing his temper like that, but he was even more furious at Sirius.

Sirius. Who had been one of his best friends for _years._ He still remembered the day they had met…

_*Flashback*_

Eleven-year-old Remus Lupin, tall and gangly for his age, sickly-looking, slowly pulled the door to the compartment open. All the others were full, and this one was too. "Sorry," he muttered, and turned to leave, but a voice cried out.

_  
"Hold up!"_

_  
A boy, seemingly full of manic energy, leapt to his feet and bounded over to Remus. "Hold up, mate, hold up…" He looked Remus over as Remus looked the boy over. He had black hair and sparkling blue eyes. He held out a hand. "Sirius Black, and these lovely ladies at Phoebe and Janice. Say hello to… er…" He looked at Remus. "Who _are _you, anyway?"_

_"Remus. Remus Lupin." Remus took the offered hand, hoping he didn't appear too nervous. A friend would be nice…_

_"Wonderful! Spiffing! Come and sit with me, mate." Without waiting for a response, Sirius Black seized his arm and dragged him to a seat near Janice as he sat next to Phoebe._

_"Er…" Remus began, looking the girl. "You're not a first year, are you?"  
  
_

_"Nope!" she said, flashing him a wide smile. "I'm a fourth year. Ravenclaw, by the way. She's Hufflepuff," she added, jerking her head at Phoebe. "You'll have to excuse Siri," she added, giggling. "He's very energetic, but he's so sweet! And cute, too."_

_Remus gave her a tired look. "You realize, of course, that he's probably three years younger than you."_

_"Well, yes," she said, smoothened her hair. "But, so are you."_

_Remus peered at Sirius. "I'm not the one who's flirting, though," he said pointedly._

_"Yes, well, that's too bad. I noticed, you know."_

_Just then, another boy, this one very annoyed, with dark hair, glasses, and hazel eyes, poked his head in. "Sirius!" he said, sounding irritated. "Did you find Snape?"_

_"Obviously not," Sirius replied, not looking at the boy. "Come and meet Phoebe and Janice, James. Do you ladies happen to have _another _lovely friend for my pal over there?"_

_Janine and Phoebe giggled._

_"Ugh! Honestly," James said, rolling his eyes, and grabbed Sirius's shirt collar, dragging him out, but not before Sirius grabbed Remus's ankle and dragged him out as well._

_Phoebe and Janice waved, Janice also winking and blowing Remus a kiss. "Come back and talk to me anytime, cutie!" she called. The compartment door slammed shut._

_*End Flashback*_

That was long, long ago, however. And Sirius was not that happy-go-lucky eleven-year-old boy any longer. No, he was a fully-grown man, and he was a murderer.

He remembered something that someone had once said to him, long ago, in passing. _Once a wizard goes over to the dark side, there's nothing and no one that matters to him anymore…_

Hagrid. Sirius had introduced Remus to _him, _too, in their first year, along with James. It seemed like eternities ago.

_Well done, Remus. Very well done. You're alone, and you have no friends to run to. James, Lily, and Peter are dead. Your other friends were **their** friends, too, and now they're too busy in mourning to take notice of you. And Sirius…_

_Sirius was gone long before you even realized it. So there really is no one to run to._

No on, and nothing.

Remus slammed his fist into the coffee table, knocking several books over, in the process. _Damn it! _Remus thought angrily. _Damn it all! This is so unfair!_

_I went to Dumbledore for answers – and I got nothing._

_I went to Sirius for answers – and I got nothing **there**, either._

_There's no one else I can ask. All my other friends don't even remember me – they're probably all getting ready for Lily and James's funeral._

And Harry is… somewhere else. I don't even know. Did Dumbledore tell me? I can't remember.

He stared out the window. It was too dark to see anything, at the moment. Except for the moon. The full moon was coming in ten days… and Remus would have no one to keep him company on it.

_Why, Sirius? What made you do what you did? What happened to you?_

_Why did you change? What made you go over to the dark side?_

"Once a wizard goes over to the dark side, there's nothing and no one that matters to him anymore…"

Nothing? Nothing ever mattered to you anymore? You gave everything you had – and you had so much – up for… for what? Power? Did you think you were doing something by joining Voldemort? What could you have been thinking?

I'll never know, now.

He no longer had anywhere to run to. He had been running all day, he felt – he felt even more so like he'd been running for years. He had gotten distant with all of this other school friends – he didn't even known them anymore. His pride was keeping him from calling on all the old friends.

Every one of them would only remind him of Sirius, anyway. Of Sirius, of James, of Lily, and of Peter. He didn't want to be reminded of them, not now. It was all too soon for him.

Remus suddenly remembered something – something he had forgotten about. He was in mourning; he was lost. He could think of no other way out. It was his last option…

Remus slowly left the dilapidated sofa, heading for his room. He rummaged around his drawers, searching for the thin box. None of his friends had ever known that he'd had it – he'd bought it secretly in Diagon Alley, when he was eleven, just about to start Hogwarts.

He'd never used it. His hands hit the smooth wooden box, and he pulled it out from underneath the many worn sweaters, blowing gently on it to remove dust. Slowly, he undid the latch, and forced himself to open the box.

Even in the darkness of the night, the blade glinted, flashing as if beckoning him. He stared at it, then took it out, dropping the box silently to the floor.

He stared at the silver knife, unblemished and unmarked by blood. His hands shook as he gripped it, mentally steeling himself.

_You can do this. Youcan **do** this, Remus. What have you got left? Nothing at all. You're twenty-three, with nothing at all left. Nobody to run to anymore. You searched for answers. But you couldn't find them. Nothing and no one could help you – and they still can't._

_It'll be over quickly. It might even be painless. The sooner you do it, the sooner it's done._

The sooner you're going to be put out of your misery.

Ten minutes later, the knife dropped to the floor. It had never spilled life's blood, and it never would.

Remus fell heavily to his knees, sobbing helplessly. Even now, there was no one and nothing for him to turn to. But he couldn't do it.

_Where's that Gryffindor courage now, huh? _His inner voice taunted him. _Where did it go? You're suppose to be brave and strong, and all that. What happened to all those qualities the Sorting Hat supposedly saw in you?_

_They're gone – or they were never there. Does it matter, now? I tried to end it, and couldn't. But I feel so ashamed…_

_There's only one more option, then. I'll leave._

I'll leave England, and hide myself far away from here. No one ever has to know about me again. The world can forget that a Remus Lupin ever existed.

Slowly, painfully, Remus picked up the knife, and slid it back into its box. He stood, preparing to pack.

Fifteen minutes later, he was ready. The box lay where he had left it. He picked it up. He had intended to sell it, to get rid of it… but now that it came down to it…

He slid it into his patched bag. It would always be there, if he ever felt the need to use it. It would always be in his bag, or his pocket, or in his room, holding what could become a bloody promise.

It would always be his escape route – his way of finally letting go.

But as Remus left through the door, he knew that no matter how bad things got, he'd never use it.

Not ever.

X-X-X-X-X

A/N: Oh, wow! That took _forever _to update, didn't it? I'm really sorry – I completely forgot about this. The next chapter is the final one – it's the epilogue. Reviews are appreciated, as always! ~Peaches


	4. Epilogue Not Just Yet

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter of the characters of the book. They were created by and belong to J.K. Rowling 12 Years Later - Epilogue 

Remus looked around the shabby cottage of the small village in Bulgaria. He'd been here long enough; it was time to move on.

He rarely stayed in a place for very long. It just wasn't good. There was always the chance he'd be found by someone. Or that he'd hurt someone on the full moon. Or that he'd let something slip that he shouldn't.

His only regret was not attending Lily and James's funeral. Shortly after he had left England, he had terminated his Daily Prophet subscription – too easy to be traced – but just before he had, he had received his last issue, bearing the headline:

WIZARDING COMMUNITY IN MOURNING – OUR FINAL GOODBYES 

_By _Rita Skeeter, _Special Correspondent_

At sunset yesterday evening, the Wizarding Community bid farewell to a pair of their best. One of the most romantic couples in over a hundred years, Lily and James Potter were affectionate parents and loving friends.

_When asked to comment, friends turned away, mentioning the Potters' bravery, or their compassion, or their never-seeming-to-end luck. All but one, that is – Janine Garnet, a longtime friend of both._

_Just to remind the community of Janine, the _Daily Prophet_ has provided a brief biography. Janine Garnet, age twenty-three, was a close friend of both James and Lily, and many others of their numerous friends. The Wizarding Community might remember the late William Garnet, one of the most celebrated Quidditch players of the Montrose Magpies, and, later on, near the end of his life, a top Auror. Sadly, he was murdered on Christmas morning five years ago in his home by unknown Death Eaters. Janine, choosing to give up her Quidditch dreams, had followed her father into the Auror profession._

While she attempted to plead unavailable for comment, we pursued her during the funeral, until, at last, she admitted sadly, "It's tragic. I just can't believe it. When I heard, I was like… wow. It was such a shock. It still is. I miss them both so much – but I guess people just can't be lucky forever. We'll all miss them dearly."

She hurried away almost at once, and some mourners commented that they had seen her crying under a willow tree. Certainly, Ms. Garnet has quite a reason to mourn. As the Community knows, she's already lost many friends to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and losing two of her close friends to him as well must be even more traumatic for her. The Daily Prophet wants to remind the community of her husband, for he's a man who is well known to the community…

It had stopped speaking of Lily and James then, and Remus hadn't felt necessary to read on. He felt a little guilty – Janine had been one of his old friends, and she had always been a close one. She was probably taking Lily and James's deaths hard.

But she would be surrounded by an endless crowd of friends and family to cheer her up. She was from an old, rich family; there'd always be someone there for her, someone to offer comfort in her darkest moments.

There would be no comfort for the lonely werewolf who'd nearly taken his life in his grief.

In any case, that was all twelve years ago. Remus pushed the thoughts from his mind, and gathered his even-more-patched-than-before bag to him, heading to the old chest at the foot of his small cot. He'd been in Bulgaria long enough.

Pausing, he wondered where to go next. "Maybe somewhere in the States," he mused hoarsely aloud. With no one to talk to in so long, he hadn't had much occasion to use his voice, and he barely remembered how to. "Or maybe I could go to Spain… or Portugal… anywhere but England. Besides, Bulgaria is too-"

He froze. A handsome barn owl had flown in through the open window, hooting as it landed on his bedside table.

Remus stared at it. It had been ages since he'd last gotten an owl. The owl hooted louder, clearly impatiently.

Slowly, hesitantly, Remus forced his legs to move. He went to the owl, taking the letter from its beak. It took off without waiting for any money, which Remus took as a good thing. It wasn't anybody demanding money, and it wasn't a post owl.

So it had to be an old friend who owned a barn owl. But who did? It had been twelve years. Most of his friends were either dead or had forgotten him.

Janine? Nah, she'd always liked snowy, eagle, and barred owls. Any other kind, as far as she was concerned, was simply not acceptable.

Alyssa? Alyssa was an old girlfriend of his, but they had broken up – well, she had done most of the breaking – once she had found out he was a werewolf. He doubted she'd contact him so much later – with his luck, she was probably happily married already. He'd never really gotten over her, and she'd always been uncomfortable around him since the breakup. She wouldn't be owling him, not twelve years since he had last seen her.

Snape? Ha, that was a laugh. Snape wouldn't owl him if his very life depended on it. That cancelled him out.

The list was growing short. With feelings of trepidation, he slit open the parchment. For moments, he just stared at the header: August 27, 1993, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He couldn't stop looking at it. It was as if he had been punched in the stomach.

Hogwarts.

It was from Hogwarts.

A place he hadn't been to in so long. The last place he'd seen a truly friendly face – well, Dumbledore was friendly, and Sirius didn't count, and Snape definitely wasn't friendly. Not towards him, anyway.

After getting past his disbelief, he forced himself to read the rest of the letter.

Dear Remus,

It has been a long while. I hope this letter finds you well, wherever you are, as you are surely not in England any longer. Your friends miss you, and Janine in particular asked me to send along her best wishes for you. She is eager to see you again.

Remus stopped for a moment at that line. See me again? I had just assumed she'd completely forgotten about me. He continued to read.

Your other friends miss you as well. It has been a long time – nearly twelve years, in fact – since we have been in contact. It is my hope that you will sincerely consider my offer to you.

I cannot imagine what life must have been like for you, alone wherever you are, but I am not asking you to return to England. I have an opening for a teaching position at Hogwarts – as the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. You are, without a doubt, my first choice for the job.

You come highly recommended – your old school friends think it is a fantastic idea, and fully support my decision. Professor McGonagall herself suggested you to me, when we were at a loss.

If you are willing, you need not send a reply to me. Just come back to England, and return to your old flat. It's been taken care of in your absence. I will meet you there.

Doubtless you have not had much information to the current situation in England. Upon your return – should you choose to accept my offer – I will gladly inform you of all that has been going on.

Your friends have asked me to pass along this message, as well – that they all sincerely hope you will consider and accept my job offer, and that they cannot wait to see you again, as it has been a long time.

Yours truly,

              - Albus Dumbledore

                Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

The parchment fluttered to the floor. Remus remained frozen for several moments, and then he bent quickly to snatch it up, to reread it.

It suddenly felt as though a great burden had been lifted from his shoulders. The last twelve years had been hellish for him – he had barely scraped by enough to eat and meet his daily needs. He practiced minimal magic, and took few jobs. His health hadn't been good.

But what Dumbledore was offering him was unbelievable. A job. A home. A place to stay, with food to eat, and hot water to bathe in.

It was the best thing that could have happened. He resumed packing with a renewed fervor. He was going back!

He paused, for a moment, looking at the box that held the knife. He had hidden it under his sweaters in his chest, just as before.

He reached out a hand to touch it. Can I get rid of it? Am I ready to?

He looked at the picture by his bedside – the graduation picture he had always kept with him, unable to part with it. His old school friends waved at him, all smiling and happy. Even Sirius did.

He put the knife back. Not yet, he thought. Someday, but not yet.

He resumed packing.

X-X-X-X-X

A/N: Okay, to make up for not updating in almost a month and a half – here's two chapters. This one's the epilogue, by the way – this story is over. But I'll be back with more – you've already heard me mention Janine Garnet in this story. When I eventually write my Marauders' Era fic – which I will – she'll be in it, as one of Lily's friends, and an OC. Quick thanks to my beta, Nikki – check out her story, "Wife Wanted," a D/G. It's a really good fic. Reviews, as always, are appreciated! ~Peaches


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